when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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