dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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