I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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