He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
