wat bout pragnant strippers??
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
