tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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