does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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