So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
