We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
