help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
