saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
