maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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