The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
