I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
