Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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