Me. At least after what I've been through.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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