singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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