I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
