we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Randomize
