marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Ketchup is God's man juice
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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