Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
