this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
