I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
