best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
