he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
