I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
