I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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