Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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