I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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