no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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