Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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