I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
