I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
