grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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