Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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