ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I think my moral compass just broke
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
