Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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