That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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