so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
