Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
