I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I think I sprained my soul last night
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
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