She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
