my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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