Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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