i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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