Just mADE A PArabola og urine
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
