so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
