walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
