maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
