You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
And then my night got REAL pukey
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
